Across the Strait

As I closed the door behind me, the small voice in my head willed me that there was something I had forgotten. Ignoring that voice, I reasoned I was only going away for one night, whatever it is, I can go one night without.

Half an hour later, I had met up with a girlfriend and our adventure across the border to visit some friends in Johor Bahru Malaysia had begun. 2 MRT changes later, we were half way up the island when my girlfriend turned to me and asked, tongue in cheek, do you have your passport. Turns out, the ONE thing required for a border crossing was the ONE thing I could not go without for the weekend and was the ONE thing I had forgotten.

Luckily, taxis are one of the very few inexpensive things in Singapore and $30 later, we had returned to my condo, retrieved said passport and hit the border towards Malaysia.

Crossing the border into Malaysia was so simple and hassle free that it is obvious why so many Singaporeans are happy to make the trip for a couple of hours shopping. Once you cross the border, you enter into a 7 level shopping centre. Add to the fact that prices in Malaysia are roughly one third that of Singapore and a very happy shopping trip can be had.

However, we weren’t travelling for shopping, we were crossing the border to catch up with some sailbird friends who were moored in Danga Bay.

Upon meeting up with one healthy sailbird (the other was still holed up after a big night with the other pirates!) we investigated the local area, walking out of the shopping centre, and as it was lunch time, straight to the local Indian restaurant which our friends had previously discovered. This place had the most incredible Indian food I had ever tasted! I have NO idea what we were eating, as this extremely classy establishment was sans menus. Sans anyone who could speak English also. Add to the fact that the waiters, whenever we asked any questions, would shake their head Indian style and smile at us meant the only way of ordering was to point to the various delicacies in the bay maries and hope for the best.  And for some cutlery.

On both counts the meal was A*mazing! And the rest of the diners were treated to lunch with a show as three white girls hoed into their Indian feast using silverware!



The view of Singapore from Johor Bahru



Our bellies over satisfied, we wandered the streets. We crossed through Chinatown, the Indian quarter and discovered a mosque which was undergoing repairs and waved across the strait at Singapore. The most interesting thing though was exploring all the quirky little shops. One girl who had just opened her boutique would not let us go without posing for a polaroid to adorn her shop.



Quirky Malysian  boutiques



Definitely not in Singapore now

 As usually happens as close to the equator as we were, the rains came down and spoiled our fun. Not to matter, we grabbed a cab and set off for the boat and spent the rest of the afternoon eating starfruit and drinking red wine – a love of one of the sailbirds.

That evening, a friend of the sailbirds picked us up and off we went for an information session with a guru about Feng Shui in the home. This was quite interesting as he focussed on the placement of rooms in the home. And considering this was a discussion on Feng Shui, I was surprised at how rigid he was in his placement of rooms in the house.  For example, if your kitchen is not in the SE quadrant of your house (in relation to the sun), you are DOOMED. DO NOT even CONSIDER purchasing or renting a house if this is not where the kitchen is. There is NO remedy to cure a kitchen in the wrong position. And so on regarding toilets, bedrooms etc. My sailbird friend enquired as to what she should do considering she lives on a boat. Basically, she is scr*ed. No luck for you!

 How one's house should, nay, MUST be set out 

Also, in case you were after more information on how your home is ruining your life, your gate should be the same height as your fence, you should have an even number of windows, but NOT a number that ends in 0, you should keep a jar of salt in your kitchen and add more salt every Friday. And if you have steps in your house, outside your house etc, they must be an odd number.

Also, to start your day in the most auspicious way possible, follow these guidelines:

1.       Ether: Upon waking, play soothing music. No rock songs. No love songs. No squeaking.

2.       Air: Keep indoor plants and burn incense upon rising. Start at your front door and move from room to room with said incense and allow the smoke to hit the roof of each room before moving to the next.

3.       Fire: Watch the sunrise daily

4.       Water: Drink lots. And fix any leaking taps – this is linked directly to your wealth.

5.       Earth: Walk around barefoot on the grass each morning

The Guru

Later in the discussion, the guru gave tips to invite good luck and wealth into your life. These included:

·         Releasing birds on your birthday (after telling them your wish) equivalent to the date of your birthday. Therefore, My birthdate is the 12^th of July, so each year on my birthday I would release 12 birds.

·         Each morning, lighting a candle and making a wish, then blow the candle out.

·         Write your wish on a piece of red paper and keep it under a hollow copper pyramid for 48 days and do not disturb.

·         Meditate with the hollow copper pyramid on your head

·         Keep a money note in your wallet folded in a triangle to invite wealth in.

** At the end of the discussion, the most questions were directed towards the use of the copper pyramid and its powers to make one’s wildest dreams come true. They sold like absolute hotcakes! At the beginning of the discussion, the guru pointed out that true gurus don’t request money, they are free to access and should never charge for attendance at their speeches. Clearly, they make their money through the selling of the wares they flog post discussion.

After the discussion, we wandered through the night market and went home.

We rose lazily the next morning and played scrabble (yep – all my words with friends peeps – I owned!) then wandered back to the city for some lunch. After some discussion, it was back to the old faithful Indian restaurant. Then we decided to beat the rush and head home before all the Singaporeans loaded with their purchases cram the customs queues.

Anima - Home away from Home

Scrabble, dragonfruit, coffee, muesli, friends = perfect lazy morning

Johor Bahru is definitely worth the day trip over to check out. Even if you don’t get the opportunity to see a true guru in action, wandering the shops and the streets close by are worth one’s time.  As is the Indian feast.

Round 2

Street Urchins

While we weren't eating...... Malacca part II

World Heritage Site of Malacca was our destination this past long weekend. Due to flights anywhere being quite expensive, a colleague and I decided to try our luck on one of the Luxury Buses to cross the border into Malaysia for the 3-4 hour journey.  

Our journey started with the collection of snacks for the trip. There was a 7 11 down the street, but the Korean Supermarket seemed much more enticing. The only reason this is of importance to our trip was how excited we were of the Korean policy of try before you buy in regards to their chip selection! Once we had chosen our chip of choice, we waited to board our Coach.

Luxury it was! This bus was decked out in what seemed like armchairs – complete with leg rest. The journey began and it was quite simple to cross the border. Once we had crossed the river and passed through customs, it was amazing the immediate sense of space with not a building or light in sight. We became giddy on the prospect of being off the island however were dismayed by how slowly we were inching towards our destination. Finally, we decided to sleep our way through the bus trip.



Luxury + Excitement!

This was quite easy for me – it was only later that my companion informed me of her planned escape route in case the white-knuckle-harrowing stop/ start / braking / beeping of the coach experience turned into a collision or coach overturning. Clearly, I am my father’s daughter and this rocked me to sleep!

Finally – 6 hours later and 1am, we arrive to our destination. After getting cashed up and grabbing a cab (complete with friendly cockroach greeting us), we arrive to our hostel. The owner was just about to turn in for the night as he had never had guests arrive so late from the bus before. Because of the long weekend, it seemed everyone was keen to get off the island.

The River by night

Unfortunately, due to our late arrival the convenience store was already closed, but our host allowed us to partake in his Gin and Tonic so we sat by the river and unwound, relieved to finally have arrived. We stayed in this particular hostel for one night only as it was booked out for the next two nights. However, we had read such awesome reviews on it that we wanted to check it out.

The Mosque

The next morning, we relocated to our new hostel – literally across the road so unfortunately no river view L. However, it was much more spacious, had better facilities and AIR CON! The owner sat us down and gave us the important information regarding Malacca: Where To Eat. Refer to my previous blog for the information on our culinary experiences in Malacca – they were amazing…….

Chinese Temple




Guinness &



Cigarettes as offerings?

We spent the next day wandering the streets, temples and mosques. We also for the first time tried acupuncture (unfortunately, it didn’t affect me as well as I had hoped). The town is so quaint and interesting to wander through as the day went on, more and more people filled the streets and by nightfall, the main st ‘Jonker Street’ had been shut off for the bustling night market.  

Indian Temple

The next morning, we went on a bike ride through a village outside of town. We saw how rubber was collected off the rubber trees and palm oil plantations. We also saw many different types of fruit trees and for me, it was just wonderful to be out in nature – you don’t get a lot of that in Singapore!

Palm Oil

Mmmmmm champagne anyone?





Rubber Plantation

Don't quit your day job!

Custom built house which streams music of swallows calling. The birds are attracted to this and come build nests in here. The nests are made from twigs and stuck together with the bird's saliva. The nests are collected and then sold for literally a small fortune. They are a delicacy in China.

cute!

Hard at work cutting rubber trees.

Dragonfruit tree



Milk fed baby lamb.

The next morning, we left quite early and I am hopeful I will be back soon. The town was so full of culture, soul and warmth that crossing the river back to Singapore made Singapore feel clinical in comparison. Everything is so structured and orderly and near perfect that it can feel cold at times. It was lovely to be back in the East, if only for a weekend.

Scenes of Malacca..............

Butcher

Acupuncture



One for Miss Newman......



One for my first mates aaarrgh!



The river by day.... all the buildings are being painted with funky pictures and scenes which you can't see that clearly here unfortunately....







Culinary delights in Malacca

Note the instructions on the yellow paper behind us.

WOW. I have never in my life experienced such an incredible, memorable culinary experience as I did in Malacca. Every meal was memorable. Every meal was sensational. Every meal was most likely loaded with trans fats, MSG and definitely NOT organic, but hey, you only live once right?

Our lovely host gave us the lowdown on precisely where to eat chicken rice balls, dumplings, satay fondue and Nyonya cuisines. Once we had tried the first two and they were AWESOME, we realised we would stick with her suggestions throughout our trip.

Our first stop was breakfast: Pork Dumplings @ Kampung Kling Mosque (well, opposite the mosque)

The Bun. And some other less memorable yum cha dishes.

As this was our first morning, we weren’t in a major rush to eat. We spent time wandering through the streets and temples (and the map was difficult to comprehend). There was one place which caught my eye directly across from the Mosque which was PUMPING with customers but all the signage was in Chinese so I had no idea what was going on in there. We asked several people for directions to the restaurant when we finally realised the place across from the Mosque? That was THE place. It is to be noted, one lady, whose shop was two stores down LITERALLY, told us it was a five minute walk away.  

And the dumplings? The most amazing dumplings I have ever eaten in my entire life.  Fluffy, loaded with chunks of meat, and just completely insane in taste.  I took great pleasure in the fact that they were steamed.

After more wandering & popping our acupuncture, we decided it was time for a spot of lunch.

This time? Lunch: Nyonya Style @ Nancy’s Kitchen

Tamarind chicken with plain rice.....

Nyonya is the local cuisine of the Malay/Chinese people. We walked into the shop and were told to go upstairs and share a table with another couple. We had the most delicious lunch of tamarind chicken and boiled rice and chatted with our elderly lunch companions about travels through Asia. They were on a 4 week trip through Malaysia and entertained us with their stories of India……. Such a lovely couple! The shop was airconditioned and Malacca was HOT so it was nice to chill out, chat and relax over the local cuisine.

To walk off our food, we wandered Jonker St and after getting reheated, decided to try a frozen drink. I decided on passionfruit and lime and this was the most refreshing delicious fruit drink I have had. Seriously, it felt as though I had not eaten until I got to Malacca! My travelling companion decided to go with a watermelon / lychee concoction. Unfortunately, she suffered from a serious case of food envy post trying mine.

My kind of slurpee!

That night we ventured for a local dish. Dinner: Fondue Satay. NOT @ Capital Satay

1 hour line up for food?

Hunter- Gatherer.

Yep, imagine a pot of bubbling satay that you stick your bits of pork / prawns / vegetables into to cook. Now, this was our first (and only) culinary hiccup. You see, we finally found THE place to eat this dish. Alas, there was a line that was over an hour long. Now we were hungry by this point, having just shopped up a storm in the night market, and right next door was another place sans line. Seriously? How different could the two places be? Well, after a terrible, uninspiring, tasteless meal, we left and went for some noodles then called it a night!

Hard to tell, but this was very watery and quite bland :(

The next morning, we tucked into Pork dumplings for energy to sustain us through our pre-booked bike ride. This time, we supplemented our dumplings with glutinous rice with meat wrapped in a banana leaf. Heaven in a leaf - cooked to perfection with big chunks of meat. I thought I had died and gone to sticky rice heaven! (For those of you unfamiliar with my love affair of sticky rice, during my year in Thailand, this managed to make me 10kgs more glutinous. Hence, I cannot be trusted with rice – particularly of the sticky kind - and only partake on special occasions).

Post bike ride, we decided to try another local delight for lunch: Chicken Rice Balls @ Hoe Kee

Another day, another line.

Balls = much more fun! Shout out to my man with my beverage of choice to accompany the meal!

It was at this point that I started to realise that there were a lot of Singaporeans in Malacca. And they were all lined up for Chicken Rice balls at this one shop. So, I guess living in Singapore is rubbing off on us because we joined the cult and lined up. This time though, our confidence was buoyed by the size of the shop and the stream of diners exiting the restaurant contently. We lined up for about 40minutes before tucking into chicken rice balls. Now, this is very similar to the common Hawker market style dish Chicken Rice which can be found in Singapore, however the rice was in the shape of balls. Much more fun! And they were delicious. It is at this point that I should confess I have not actually had this dish in Singapore, (please refer to my rice confession in the previous paragraph for an explanation why), so I can’t really compare to what Singapore has to offer in this area. But I am keen to try now so I can compare. Pretty sure Malacca will win.

The Line. Take 2.

Earlier that day, we decided to try the recommended Satay Fondue place: Capital  Satay. After our late lunch, we decided to beat the crowd and head straight to Capital Satay in order to be there for their 5pm opening time at the front of the queue. The time was 4.15. The shop was ALREADY open. And at capacity. And there was a line.

After 20 minutes of not moving AT ALL (the same chick was at the front of the line), I went out for supplies and returned with beer. This made the line up a whole lot more fun. However, in my absence, the size of the line had tripled, and there was a separate line running parallel to the original line. Seriously, people were stopping to take photos of the line up! This place MUST be good.  One by one, the westerners gave up waiting and left. But the Singaporeans held tight to their positions – as did we, blocking off the second parallel line.  After an hour (and 2 beers), We. Were. IN!

The parallel line up.

Line = conquered with the help of beer!

The skewers on offer were much the same as the previous night, however, the fondue. the fondue. OMG THE FONDUE. They kept coming around to place more peanuts and spices into the sauce. Where the previous night the fondue was watery and slippery, this one was thick and clung to the skewers and was just the most incredible satay I had ever experienced.  Unfortunately, in my joy of experiencing such a foodgasm, once the satay arrived, there was no thought of the camera L. So you will just need to imagine the peanut heaven in a bowl simmering and bubbling away.

Pre-satayed lunch.

The next morning, we again dined on pork buns and glutinous rice before our 8am bus trip home. Seriously, we set our alarm for half an hour early just for a pork bun and rice. Breakfast of champions.  

If you are ever in Malaysia, Malacca is a must.  If you require a guide…….. I just may need to consult the size of my ass before I decide whether I can afford to indulge my tastebuds in food heaven again.

Ok, Malacca - You Win.

Photo evidence of our lining up.